Don't Use Me

Seen on our kitchen counter yesterday morning:

A pile of three Ramen noodle packets and a note reading: "I have a special purpose. Don't use me."

I have a friend who was broken up with except that the man didn't even have the balls to ever date her officially.

I think we should all have this tatooed to our bodies in obvious places: "I have a special purpose. Don't use me."

Marx and Engels

I guess most of you know that I've always had this fantasy of meeting someone in the laundromat. It’s because of that commercial that was aired sometime around 2002. And because it's one of the better urban hangouts to meet people, since most men in bars are sleazy (imho). At least you know the person values clean clothing.

There’s a girl doing her laundry and this guy keeps coming over and using all of these terrible, rude pick-up lines and bugging her. Suddenly, another guy comes in and heads straight for the besieged girl. He kisses her and hands her a wad of money, saying, “Sorry, honey, they were out of milk at the store.” Annoying boy leaves, and then grateful girl says, “Thank you so much. My name is _____, what’s yours?”

I don’t usually fall for chivalry, perse, I guess because it usually seems a little bit chauvinistic. But that always struck me as such a sweet sequence of events.

Anyway, all that to say that I’ve been listening to Belle and Sebastian’s Push Barman to Open Old Wounds and I love the track “Marx and Engels.” My favorite lines are:

One thing that she made clear
There was no coming on to her
There was no way
That she could respect
If I couldn’t see
That the girl just wants to be left alone
with Marx and Engels for awhile
She’s writing in the style of any riot girl

I’m sorry my blog has been so pathetic. I will do better more often in the future.

Words to Live By

Some ideas forwarded by a co-worker:

She's always late. In fact, her ancestors arrived on the "Juneflower."

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted and used against you.

If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter because nobody listens.

Refuge in the Library

I receive an upsetting email at work
And I cannot concentrate.
I have let someone down and the weight
Of this betrayal drags at my mind.

I seek refuge in the library,
Under the pretense of searching the archives.
I find my favorite book of juvenile fiction
And creep over to a corner to write, think, and read.

My corner is surrounded by windows which look out on a garden,
Shaded by trees which are older than I am.
Next to me, children run and shriek on a playground.
They play much harder than I will ever work at this job.

The chairs are as comfortable as I remember them
When I used to hide here during college.
The carpet is ugly as sin, but in true Brethren in Christ fashion,
Remains in better shape than the rug in most peoples’ houses.